Peeta's Mutt Mind
by LeahLucy
Summary: Peeta's POV after being rescued in Mockingjay. How does he cope with Katniss, and that she's a mutt? What kind of treatment must he endure? And most importantly, what are in his horrifying visions that have been ruined forever at the hands of the Capitol?
1. Chapter 1: Rude Awakening

Rude Awakening:

"Hurry, we need to get him out of here! Alive!" Hmm, there are loud, familiar male voices yelling in my head. It's like it's an emergency, but I don't know what, I'm having a hard time thinking straight.

"I'm trying; he's bleeding!" I hope they aren't talking about me.

"Just get him into the gurney so the aircraft can lift off!" I feel myself drop onto a badly cushioned mat. That means they're talking about me. I hate blood, because it makes me sick. I black out.

Suddenly, I wake up in a white room in a place I've never seen before. I'm thankful to the voices for getting me out of the Capitol, at least. Maybe Katniss is here. If that's the case, why am I lying here? I should be finding Katniss. I need to kill her.

I see her walking towards the room. Huh, the people all dressed in gray or white must have told her I was here. I wish they hadn't though. It really needed to wait until they all leave me alone. I can't kill her with them watching. Too risky. Not that it matters. She's dead to me. Who does she think she is, anyway? She's always on TV talking about how bad the Capitol is, but they saved me from her! Obviously they didn't care for me either, or they wouldn't have treated me like they did, but she tries to kill me at every opportunity. So why should I kill her? The face of the revolution, the very reason I feel fear. She has no soul, no grace, and no hope for the future. She doesn't care for anyone or anything as long as she gets what she wants; death or destruction. That's why I need to kill her. To rid Panem of all the terror she causes in her wake, Katniss cannot exist.

She steps into the room, her eyes flickering hatred and pure evil when she sees me. She is a true reflection of the devil himself. "Peeta!" She cries with horror. I'm probably the one person she doesn't want to see. Her arms are outstretched to pull me in, surely to cut off my circulation. Strangulation is a horrible way to die, and I feared it enough in the Capitol. They made me uptight, never really expecting what to expect from the cold-hearted torturers that came into my hollow chamber. So instead of reliving the memories, I reach my own arms out and cup them tightly around her tiny, fragile neck.

The Hunger Games have left Katniss' body weak and her senses dull. It would have been easy to kill her, right then and there. But those people in grey... they're even crazier than she is herself, trying to save the pathetic girl. Everyone is screaming, myself and Katniss included. Her screams help to calm my passion for her death. She is definitely not worth saving. I feel a sharp prick in my right arm. It almost felt like someone dug their fingernail into my skin. Suddenly, I'm tired; hating Katniss is hard work. I feel so weak that I might just close my eyelids, which are becoming heavier and heavier.

The next thing I'm aware of is eyes. Everywhere. They stare me down, hoping I'll break and apologize for trying to kill Katniss. Or more accurately, that I will forget everything that the Capitol has shown me about the psychotic blood lust behind Katniss' steely grey eyes. They must be crazy too. Katniss is everywhere in my memories, and she's nuts.

She's killing people off in the arena, and eating them. Drinking their blood. As if this is all one big game to her, and she's the best and strongest player. I watch her like this in two different Hunger Games. Why did they put us in two? Oh right, they love watching Katniss end lives. Then, I'm suddenly transported into one of those memories.

"_Peeta, are you here? I can't see you!" Katniss exclaimed, looking all over the jungle floor. She wouldn't be able to find me; the ground is littered with colourful plants, most of which were covering me. My face was caked in mud and leaves to hide my facial features. I was camouflaged so well that even though she was staring directly at me, she couldn't see that I was there._

_As I stare upwards, I see that the thick labyrinth of the forest had been picked clean, no doubt to honour the Games. Had it been made of metal, the forest would have glistened like it was dipped in sunlight. It was too bad that the Careers I had teamed up with had failed to see the beauty in the arena. They only cared about who they would kill and when. Exactly like Katniss. The thought brought me back to our conversation._

"_Yeah, too bad you can't see me," I responded, in an attempt to send her away. I slowly rolled myself over before wincing at the pain in my leg. I raised my head just enough to look at her face. _

_Katniss glowed. The reflections of the sun on her face made her look like she was made of bits of sunlight. That's wrong. She's made of darkness and evil, not light. Her face was stained with fresh blood, dripping down from her mouth to her chin. She must have been particularly excited about her latest kill. If you were to ask her about it though, she would deny having killed anyone at all. What a liar, didn't she know there were cameras everywhere?_

"_I know you want to come out, Peeta. You love me, remember?" Katniss didn't look like she was going to leave anytime soon, a look of hope clearly visible in her harsh features. Of course, I knew that if I even sat up, I would be dead in an instant. Katniss is a machine and has no mercy; she must be destroyed. I had to destroy her, because no one else would._

"_Go away, I don't want you here Katniss!" My tone was harsh. She deserved it. "Just leave," I said. I didn't want to say any more, just in case she spotted me with those hateful, grey eyes. I watched as she flipped her carefully braided hair behind her back. The sun caught her braid as it moved, and I was partially blinded for a moment. That was bizarre, because usually dark hair wouldn't have that intense effect. Almost instantaneously she turned on her heels and ran away as fast as her legs would carry her, which seemed to be the speed of light. I heard the faint rustle of a tree moving, and seeing as there was no wind, I had to assume that Katniss would be travelling up there from then on. It was about time she left._

_The plants still reflected the light of the sun, so I guessed that the sun must not have set just yet. Then all of a sudden, the light being reflected on the emerald green foliage disappeared, and the jungle looked more realistic. But I didn't linger on that particular detail; the sun can play strange tricks on your eyes. Wait a minute, how did Katniss leave so quickly? The speed she must have gone at was far beyond normal. Too fast. Too fast for a human, anyway. My hand flew to my mouth to hide my shocked expression. Katniss was a mutt._

I wake up with a start, back in the painfully white room. My ankles and wrists are tied to the chair, my waist belted down. There is a new pain in my hip bones from jumping awake, but I ignore it. I hate this room too much to even think about that. They should really add some visual interest in here; it was like sitting in a blank canvas while being restrained from filling it with colour and life. But there was no way I would be able to escape unnoticed. There's a long tube of what I assume is some sort of anaesthetic designed to keep me unconscious attached to my arm, but I don't bother trying to get it off. Right now, my mind is elsewhere. Thinking about the boring room, of course, but more importantly, planning how I would go about killing Katniss. Who, apparently, is a mutt.

I can't believe I didn't see it sooner.


	2. Chapter 2: Unexpected Visitor

**Hello, readers :)**

**I don't like to fool myself into thinking that there are a lot of you, but I really am glad that you chose to read my story. THANK YOU 3**

**I wish I was as talented as Suzanne Collins, but alas, I am not her, so I don't own any aspect of the Hunger Games.**

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><p>Unexpected Visitor:<p>

Muttations are animals - if you can technically call them that - that the Capitol creates, like Jabberjays or Trackerjackers. They're built for a specific reason to give the Capitol yet another unfair advantage. They use them for torture too. But I don't let my mind wander back to those memories.

Instead, I focus my time into other things. Screaming at the people dressed in grey and white, staring at the opposite wall, wondering if people are watching me, imagining the way I would paint the room, and much more. Really, it's like solitary confinement, because I hate the people who come to see me. There's one especially peppy man who looks in, with a big, fake smile on his face, and tells everyone I look better. Better? Yeah, not really. I still haven't left the room, and Katniss hasn't come back. Great, now I'm back to sulking about my failed attempt to silence her forever.

I guess I just need more practice. But that's not going to happen either, because no one unstraps me from this stupid chair.

Hours, days, weeks, months, maybe even years pass. I currently have no grasp on time, because I just get knocked out by an anaesthetic every once in a while. I see less and less people walking in and out with clipboards. Are they afraid of me? They should be, I growl at them every time they look me in the eye. Someone else looked me in the eye, once. Was it important? Who was it?

_"Time to go, Peeta. This is an important scene, you see. It's you and Katniss meeting for the first time before heading off for your tour," Portia had told me as we gathered at the door._

_ "So I guess we're back to the whole 'Young Love' thing then, right?" I had responded._

_ "Of course. Now go out there and show the world how cute you are together!" Portia gave a little squeal and pushed me in the general direction of the door._

_ I opened it and stepped outside. The whole town looked like a winter wonderland. The snowflakes were free-falling from every angle; they were almost too thick to see through at all. I blinked a few times and started towards a figure coming at me, smiling. I had to assume it was Katniss._

_ Red lights began flashing in my head. The brilliance of the sunlight reflecting off the snow began to be almost too much to bear, and I couldn't see a thing. It was like making my way through a cloud._

_ Katniss ran toward me, so I began to run too. I could see her smile was completely artificial, but the bloodlust in her eyes was all too real. She charged at me in the same manner a bull would at a toreador holding a bright red flag. Through the blinding snow, she was the only person I could see._

_ We met halfway between our houses in Victor's Village. She outstretched her arms to pull me in, obviously planning to squeeze me so tight that I couldn't escape. So instead, I picked her up and started whirling her around in the air. Purely as an act of defence, of course; she could have seriously hurt me. But as soon as she kicked my prosthetic leg to get us both to fall, I knew it was not self-preservation anymore._

_ I yelped, and began slashing at her to get her off of me. That's yet another problem with Katniss; she's too clingy. We were rolling down the hill, each kicking and punching the other. I hoped I was making a toll on her face, but really, with the snow, I couldn't tell._

_ She hit me really hard at the bottom of the hill, and I saw red seeping into the snow below my chin. As I was staring, I heard the director yell._

_ "And that's a wrap!" he had said, clapping his hands. Did he not realize how much my mouth was bleeding?_

_ Everyone started to cheer, including Katniss. That was strange, it didn't sound like her voice. I listened closer. Katniss wasn't cheering at all. She was screeching, like a broken jukebox. It was just like a recording. The sound of it chilled me to the bone. I knew whose scream that was, and it definitely wasn't belonging to Katniss._

_ Katniss was emitting the same sound that Lavinia, an Avox, had conjured up while the Capitol was torturing her with electroshocks. I was forced to watch from my own torture chamber. The upsetting part was that Lavinia couldn't hear anything, but everyone else within a ten mile radius could hear her. She had died almost immediately._

_Katniss looked into my eyes. Her eyes swirled in different shades of grey, all contrasting with the blinding whiteness of the snow surrounding us. The Capitol must have put the recording into Katniss somehow, like a Jabberjay. Katniss was surely a mutt. There was no doubt in my mind now._

The thought woke me up with a start. How had I become so easily distracted by routine that I had forgotten my real goal; ending Katniss' life? I really needed to get my act together if I was going to get out of here.

Suddenly, the door to my cell opened. The person behind it isn't wearing a fake smile. In fact, he looks almost ... sad. Like his life has been whisked away from him in this place, too.

"Hello Peeta," he said, carefully.

"Hi. Who are you?" I responded, equally cautiously. "I hope you aren't another shrink."

"Well, my name is Doctor Aurelius. I'm here to talk to you."

"I guess you can have a seat Doc. It's not like I'm expecting any other company."

"Thank you. So Peeta, do you know where you are?"

I thought about this for a minute. "I'm in a white room somewhere far away from the Capitol. I'm guessing District 13? I know that this is where the main rebels are."

"Actually," the doctor responded, "You're completely right. The entire country of Panem is in full-scale rebellion against the Capitol, and you're in this room in District Thirteen."

My eyes widened as I heard this news. Obviously, from my time spent in the Capitol, I knew District Thirteen was here. In the Capitol, that's all I could hear in my torture chamber. Other than screams of course. _When are they coming for Peeta? Should we launch the attack? I think that Plutarch is an awful man. _My average day was filled with chatter. Still is, really. Nothing's changed. I'm being tortured here instead of there. The only difference is that here, they don't know they're torturing me.

I had even warned Katniss that they would all be dead here in 13 because of an attack being launched. I regret that now, of course. They all deserved to die. What I was really surprised about was the speed at which I was taken here. "I'm attentive, I guess," I said lamely.

"Yes. Now Peeta, I'm going to be doing a lot of talking here now, and you need to listen. You have been hijacked by the Capitol."

"No!" I screamed, thrashing my arms and legs around in my seat. The grip on me became instantly tighter, but I fought through it. "They saved me from Katniss! It was the only escape! You have to let me get her, Doctor! It's the only way we'll all be safe! She has to die for our safety! Can't you see that? Get them to let me go! She's a mutt, I tell you! A filthy mutt!"

"Peeta!" he said firmly, "I told you I was talking. Stop moving in the chair or I will sedate you."

I wasn't too happy about this, but I complied. I put on my best grumpy face and stared the doctor down.

"As I was saying, they injected you with Trackerjacker venom. This brings forth your memories, and distorts them. I'm here to help you rework all of your memories and bring you back to a proper mental state. Obviously, this is not going to be a simple task, and you need to promise me that you will not hurt anyone or anything in this room in the meantime."

I realize that I'm biting down on my lip so hard that a drop of blood oozes onto the white floor. _Just like in the snow_, I thought. The very idea makes me shudder. I turn my attention back to the doctor.

"I guess I'll leave you now, there's nothing more for me here today," Dr. Aurelius declared, "But I will return tomorrow, so be prepared. See you soon, Peeta Mellark." He started for the door, making sure he could see me at all times.

"Wait," I called after him, "How long have I been here?"

The doctor laughed. His laugh made me want him to come back, because he seemed like genuinely wholesome man. I think I might be able to get along with him. His smile made him transform from just another doctor into someone I wished I knew. I might even respect him. Then looked at me seriously. "Only about three days, Peeta." And with that, he promptly opened the door and shut it behind him.

Well, this is an interesting turn of events. They think _I'm_ the crazy one. Huh.

How should I approach this? I'm going to have to break it down for Doctor Aurelius exactly why I hate Katniss. But the trouble is that I can't put it to words without going insane. In fact, I'm having a hard time even thinking about it. I grasp the arms of the blood-stained white chair tightly. I focus all of my energy and strength into my hands. This helps me calm down a bit. I make a mental note to do that more often. Something tells me the next couple days will be pretty rough.

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><p><strong>Yes, I do realize that Peeta wouldn't have known about Lavinia at the time of his and Katniss' meeting for the Victory Tour, but this will be ALL explained... :)<br>Also, did you catch the words in there that Katniss said about Gale? I LOVE that sentence, so I had to use it somewhere.  
>REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW please :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3: Docs and Clocks

**I would just like to say thank you, I've received a lot of story subscriptions notifications, favourite story alerts, and comment notices. I love you all! Sorry, it isn't my best chapter ever.**

**Since my name includes neither 'Suzanne' nor 'Collins', I do not own the Hunger Games.**

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><p>Docs and Clocks:<p>

The doors to my cell never fully close. Every time someone leaves, there's at least another two who catch the door before it can close and open it again. It's actually getting rather claustrophobic in here. And it's as boring as ever.

To be honest, because of the boredom, I was actually looking forward to seeing Doctor Aurelius again. I had even begun to think of a plan on how to convince him that Katniss Everdeen really is a mutt and must be destroyed. But as more and more people crowd into my tiny white room, I feel less and less sure that I will be seeing him again at all. I decide that maybe I could tune into the conversation to pick up some details on Katniss' location. The conversation topic changes too quickly because of the numerous people in my cell, so I don't really understand much. It's okay though, nothing is really of use.

"She's finally agreed," one voice said, in a strong Capitol accent.

"Our mockingjay," piped another, completely different person.

"There are so many specialists," said the high-pitched squeal.

"Too many people in here," a deep and raspy voice complained.

I smiled at that last one, because it was too true. As soon as the smile flickered across my face, I was once again swarmed and knocked unconscious.

For the first time in a long time, a friendly face comes into view as I wake up. His is the only face in view. "Doctor," I said with another smile. Two smiles in one day. The team here is lucky.

He leaned back in his chair. "Hello again Peeta. I know that you've had a lot of people in here today, but we're alone now," he responded, looking me carefully in the eye. Maybe I was wrong about him; he seems a little uptight about something.

"Is something wrong Doc? You're not leaving me, are you?"

"Of course not, Peeta. It's just that… well… today our session is going to be slightly awkward. Partly because it is our first, but also because it will be the hardest. Do you remember what I made you promise this morning? About not hurting anyone?"

"This morning?" I exclaimed, "You're a liar! It has definitely been days and days since I last saw you." I stared at him incredulously, hoping that I didn't sound unstable. I know that if I did, he won't believe a word that comes out of my mouth.

"Oh, Peeta. We really need to get a clock installed in here. You have no real concept of time at the moment."

The next thing I know, I'm kicking and thrashing, trying to get out of the chair. "I do have a concept of time! I'm the one who drew the diagrams in the Quarter Quell to help our alliance! It should have been one less person though. Guess who? Here's a hint: she's a freaking mutt!" I continue to scream, but not at Doctor Aurelius in particular. Just at anything, and everything. My throat began to throb from the screaming.

Over all of the noise I was emitting, I hear a mechanical voice say, "Doctor Aurelius, please calmly exit the room using the door to your right." Exit the room? Am I really that crazy? No, of course not; they are.

I knew it was coming before they could even jab another stupid needle into my arm. Sedation. I was actually beginning to like it more than reality. My sedated state is like a cloud, and I float along peacefully. Then when I open my eyes, I plummet back to the underworld that is reality.

Unfortunately for me, this cloud bears a storm.

"_Tick, tock." Wiress was getting on everyone's nerves, and she, Beetee and Johanna have only been with us for a matter of minutes. At this point, it wouldn't have been hard to annoy us, because all she ever said was those two words. Over and over. For now though, Katniss, Finnick and I concentrated on cleaning the three of them up._

_The Gamemakers must have been having a good time with this arena, because the sun is blindingly bright. When combined with the shine off the waves surrounding the Cornucopia, it really was bizarre. The pink sky glistened, its puffy clouds floating around aimlessly, as if they were floating in the blood-stained water themselves._

"_Oh shut up, will you? Some of us here are trying to concentrate on killing people," Katniss had said. Johanna nodded assent. Were they both ganging up on me now? Since when did they get along? As soon as Johanna had arrived, she had begun screaming a sturdy stream of profanities Katniss' way. The only way we could shut her up was to get Finnick to dunk her underwater. Repeatedly. Fortunately, it cleaned her off in the meantime. _

_I guess that I always knew that Katniss had it out for me, but Johanna is even more merciless. If that's even possible. Katniss snickered. She turned to Johanna and pretended to cut of her fingers. Only Katniss would do something that gruesome._

"_Let's just get some rest now; it'll be no use for us all to be exhausted." Finnick was always the voice of reason in our party, it seemed. I'm glad he had said something to interrupt Katniss and Johanna's bloody party._

_Katniss immediately volunteered to stand guard, as did Johanna. Great, now I was sure that they had plotted against me. For all I knew, they would kill me in my sleep. Or they were pretending to cut off _my _fingers. But I was still really drained from the force-field incident the day before, so I went to sleep._

_I woke up to Katniss yelling at everyone that the arena was a clock, and that's why Wiress wouldn't stop saying 'Tick, tock.' with more and more urgency._

_After Katniss and Johanna screamed at each other for another ten minutes, Beetee had begun to come to and had been given a coil of wire. To be honest, I just wanted to get out of there. These people were crazy. Beetee could make a garrotte and kill any of us with that wire, or Johanna could pull out a knife out of nowhere. I was most worried about Katniss. After she had shown everyone what she could do with a bow and arrow in the training centre, I did not want to cross her. I'd be dead in an instant. I could already see the gears turning in her head as to how to do it._

"_Well," came the voice of reason, once again, "I'd like to go to the Cornucopia and watch. Just to make sure we're right about the clock." Well Finnick, aren't you a hero? What a plan. Genius. But everyone else thought that it was the best idea out there, including Johanna, who didn't even believe the clock thing, and so we ended up setting out for the centre of our arena._

_When we arrived, Wiress hobbled off on her own, singing some nursery rhyme, to clean Beetee's wire. The wire, being gold and incredibly thin, would be almost invisible in the sand if the Games had just started. But the sand was stained in blood, and I knew Katniss has dealt in that. She single-handedly killed off many tributes in this very spot on the first day. Finnick always said he had helped, but I know that Katniss wouldn't have let him. Mutts always go for death._

I really need to stop thinking this way all the time. Doctor Aurelius could make a good friend, and my blurting out my disgust for Katniss isn't going to keep him around for much longer than five minutes at each visit.

I decide that it's best to open my eyes, to begin living once again in my own personal hell. When I do that though, I see an angel sitting on the end of my bed.

That's ridiculous, it isn't an angel. But close enough. It's the only person I actually want to see for reasons that don't involve the spilling of blood.

"They just couldn't keep you away, could they Doc?" I said, with a wry smile.

"You, sir, are a piece of work. One minute you're screaming your head off, and the next you're joking around about my being back in your room again," Doctor Aurelius responded, with a smirk imitating mine.

"Well, can we just get onto the session, then? I've kind of been dying to know what you would try to convince me of."

"Of course. Now Peeta, you do remember that in the Capitol, the torturers would make you watch a video of you and Katniss, then inject you with venom? Well, I'm going to work with you as well as a team of specialists to discover what happened to your memories, and we'll rebuild you. So, is there anything you can tell me about your dreams?"

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><p><strong>Ooh, cliff hanger. Not a good one, I know. I just have a really good plan for the next chapter. I'll be trying to update at least once a week, so you can expect that. R&amp;R please? <strong>


	4. Chapter 4: The Girl with the Smile

**If you like this story so far, check out my new fic, "Suicidal Tribute", the story of the girl from District 10 who was thrust into the 74****th**** Hunger Games alongside Katniss and Peeta. Thank you!  
>I would like to thank EmilyHelene for her amazing beta skills for this chapter, because I had writer's block to the n'th degree.<strong>

**I am not associated with Suzanne Collins; therefore I do not own the Hunger Games. And I used a lot of Suzanne Collins' words at the end of this chapter.**

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><p>The Girl with the Smile:<p>

"Well, I don't dream anymore, sir," I said, with a hint of reluctance. It's kind of sad that my imagination can't even stretch far enough to show me something new, for a change. Every night the dream is the same; bitter revival of my memories in painstaking clarity.

"Hmm. Do you experience past events? Visions of what has already happened? What has yet to happen?" Dr. Aurelius enquired, yearning to learn about what I longed to forget. I refused to give him a response at all, not denying or admitting anything.

"I'm sorry Peeta, but we need to get this over with if we want to get anywhere. Without this information, your eventual full recovery will be incredibly unlikely." Doctor Aurelius replied, without a doubt making notes about my "condition". I was fine, just needed a few hours of sleep where I wasn't forced to endure the Games the moment I shut my eyelids.

"First of all, I don't need to 'recover' from anything. I'm perfectly fine." I began, stating what I knew was true. "And second, I kind of live in my head, looking back at all the things that happened to me and trying to piece them back together to find a story that makes sense. Usually, I go with the first one that seems to fit."

"Okay, so when do you do this?" More notes. The pen he was writing with was beginning to annoy me. The scratching against the paper brought back the memories of the mutts scraping their claws against the ground, waiting to devour anyone unlucky enough to cross their path.

I ran a hand through my hair and let out the breath I had been holding. "Every time I get knocked out, actually."

"So just before I came back in, did you have one of those memories resurface?" He looks up from his notepad and stares straight into my eyes. Not wanting to appear evasive, I choose my next words carefully.

"Yes sir." The only thought in my mind is: please don't ask me about it. I don't want to talk about it.

"I know that you don't like living in your head, Peeta, but you do need to tell me what you see in these visions." He leans in closer to me and I smell his aftershave. Something about the look in his eyes tells me that I could trust him. If he really could make the visions go away, maybe I could finally get to sleep without worrying about when I'd wake up again and just how painfully soon it would be.

I eye the doctor suspiciously. Is he really trying to help me, or is it just another cruel trick? I decide to trust him.

"Ugh. Okay. Well, the last one I saw was when Johanna, Beetee and Wiress had just joined us on the beach. Katniss said something about trying to kill people, she and Johanna pretended to cut off their fingers, Katniss talked about how awesome she was at the bloodbath." I give him a look that clearly tells him I won't share any more than that. Not because I don't want to, but because that's as much as I have retained. "That's all. It was just my mind reminding me never to trust Katniss, because she always goes for the kill. Like mutts do." I squeeze my eyes shut and scrunch up my face, trying to push the memories out of sight and out of mind. It cuts deeper every time I see them and I want to ring Katniss' neck that much more. When that doesn't work, I grab hold of the armrests and nearly break them off in an attempt to clear my mind. White-knuckled with pain, I breathe a sigh of relief. Much better.

I open my eyes again, now that I had calmed down, to see Doctor Aurelius looking at me with a quizzical expression on his stout face. "Are you alright, Peeta?"

"Yes sir, it's how I push the memories away when I don't feel like looking at them."

"I see." But it is so obvious that he doesn't. He doesn't have a clue what's going on inside my head or what goes in inside that arena every year. He has no idea. "So Peeta, tell me about how the scene in the vision displays itself."

"Why don't you just call them memories? I'm not seeing into the future or anything." I chuckle under my breath. The scientists nowadays should figure that out next rather than new torture techniques.

The doctor looked up straight into my blue eyes, as if he was attempting to see into my soul. "Because, Peeta, those aren't memories. I could show you the tapes of the Quarter Quell, and your visions aren't what happened. It's your mind playing tricks on you, like a terrible nightmare." He looked back down at his notepad, all intensity drained from his face. "Please, just tell me about the setting."

His words threw me off guard. Yes, I could definitely trust this man. "Okay. Well in that particular 'vision'," my fingers make quotation marks in the air, "The sky was brilliant pink, and the sun's rays were sparkling blindingly bright off of the blood-stained waves around the Cornucopia. The jungle's leaves looked unrealistic, because they shined like plastic."

"Hmm." More writing. I was curious about what he was writing on his page. Or was he drawing the picture? That would be strange for a therapist, but because this man kept on surprising me, I wouldn't count it out as an option. "Did it hurt your eyes, to watch the scene unfold, if everything was so bright?"

"I guess it did a little bit. But I could still see it perfectly fine if I looked from a bird's eye view."

"That's it Peeta!" I look up at him abruptly, because this exclamation came from nowhere. "You could see yourself, couldn't you? If it was a real memory, you wouldn't have been able to see yourself, because your eyes should be looking at the scene."

"Oh," is all I could manage to say. But it made me look smart, because that way he couldn't know if I believed him or not, because even I didn't know if I did.

"Please, tell me about other things you've seen. Or tell me about things going on in the Capitol. Or just tell me anything, because I'm here to listen, not to talk," Doctor Aurelius continued, trying to get our conversation back on track.

"Okay. Well in a different vision since I got here, it was Katniss," I shuddered, and the doctor's eyes flickered to my face, "when she came to find me. She left me in the mud, and was threatening to kill me. It was terrifying. _She_ was terrifying."

"I see. Tell me about the scene in that particular vision."

"Why are we even doing this? It's ridiculous." He was getting a little too insistent, and thus was getting on my nerves.

"Just talk." I shuddered again, because I felt someone in the Capitol had said the same thing prior to one of my interviews. Someone whose breath reeked of roses and blood. I shook the thought from my head because now was not the time to chase the doctor away.

"Okay. Well you know how I said that the jungle looked bright? Well, this was worse. It was like everything around me was inset with diamonds. They blinded me at first, but then I just kind of got used to it. By the end of the vision, it all suddenly disappeared."

"Alright. I think I have enough to go on for today. Tomorrow will be an... interesting surprise."

I shriek. "If Katniss Everdeen steps within a mile radius, I will kill her before you can say 'stop', I hope you know that. I hope you _all _realize that!" As I say this, I look around the room, finding the hidden cameras. "I hope you know that she has to die! I hope you know that she's crazy, and so are you!" I couldn't hold on anymore; the whole time I was talking, my knuckles were turning white from gripping the armrests. My face was flushed, and my throat began to hurt again. I was almost thankful when I was put out and I dreamt sweet dreams where Katniss' head was no longer on her body.

"Peeta?" I faintly hear someone call. My eyelids flutter open before settling. I was brought back to reality by my new best friend, who was once again sitting on the end of my bed.

"How's it going, Doc? Long time no see."

"Very funny, Peeta. Like I said yesterday, today we have an... experiment of sorts. So please, be kind, and remember our rule," he reminded me, backing out of the room.

"Right, no breaking things," I muttered under my breath.

Suddenly, my mind takes flight. Who, or what, could possibly come through my door? I've been decently happy in here for the past couple of days. If it's Katniss again, I don't think I'll be able to follow Doctor Aurelius' rule. Not that I could break it if I wanted to; they had my arms cuffed down. My eyes widen in anticipation. They're probably bloodshot from my lack of a restful sleep.

The seconds tick by. It feels like I've been waiting for two whole lifetimes, not a matter of minutes. All of my "Recovery Team" has long since filed out of the room, and I'm left to my own thoughts. I don't like being left to my own thoughts; they're a scary place. That's why when Delly Cartwright walks in the door, I must look utterly terrified, what with me fiddling with my hands and looking around desperately.

First, I'm afraid of her, just as a natural impulse. That comes from being in the arena. Twice. Then, I'm just confused, why is she here? "Peeta? It's Delly. From home," she said with a smile. I remember her; Delly was always smiling. Maybe she could tell me why we're here.

"Delly?" I'm almost questioning it, because it doesn't make sense. But for the time being, I now have a companion. "Delly. It's you."

"Yes!" She sighed. Maybe she didn't think I would remember her. But we spent so many hours of childhood together; how could I not? "How do you feel?" she continued.

I try to think of an honest answer. All I can come up with is, "Awful. Where are we? What's happened?" I ask her this because I trust Delly, and even though people have told me the answers, I still don't really know why.

"Well..." she hestitated. Oh no, something terrible must have happened, Delly is usually very talkative. "We're in District Thirteen. We live here now." Thank you Delly, for telling me exactly what I already knew. I guess it is good to hear another person say it though.

"That's what those people have been saying. But it makes no sense. Why aren't we home?" That's the biggest question that I've wanted to ask, but never really knew that I wanted to ask it. It just seemed wrong.

Delly bites her lip. "There was... an accident. I miss home badly, too. I was only just thinking about those chalk drawings we used to do on the paving stones. Yours were so wonderful. Remember when you made each one a different animal?"

"Yeah, pigs and cats and things," I respond, not really knowing where she's going with this. "You said... about an accident?"

With sweat dripping down her forehead, Delly responded in short breaths. "It was bad. No one... could stay." Again, I'm just getting more and more confused. "But I know you're going to like it here, Peeta. The people have been really nice to us. There's always food and clean clothes, and school's much more interesting." Well Delly, maybe the people have been nice to you, but people just like swarming me.

If no one could stay, that means my family is here, right? "Why hasn't my family come to see me?"

"They can't." Delly began to cry. "A lot of people didn't get out of Twelve. So we'll need to make a new life here. I'm sure they could use a good baker. Remember when your father used to let us make dough girls and boys?"

I wasn't really listening to what Delly was saying now. What could have killed people, and had everyone need to evacuate? There's only a few options, because whatever it was would have had to be fast, since not everyone got out. "There was a fire," I said, fitting the pieces together.

"Yes," Delly says silently.

"Twelve burned down, didn't it? Because of her." Now everything was beginning to make sense. "Because of Katniss!" She should be around here somewhere, so I began to fiddle with my restraints to get her before she can hurt anyone else.

"Oh, no, Peeta. It wasn't her fault," Delly decides, trying to calm me down, clearly.

"Did she tell you that?" My voice was barely above a snarl.

"She didn't have to. I was -" she began, backing out of the room.

"Because she's lying! She's a liar! You can't believe anything she says! She's some kind of mutt the Capitol created to use against the rest of us!" The words escaped my mouth before I even realized I was saying them. I started fumbling around in my chair again.

"No, Peeta. She's not a -" Delly tried to speak, but I interrupted her again.

"Don't trust her, Delly. I did, and she tried to kill me. She killed my friends. My family. Don't even go near her! She's a mutt!" I told her this in a frantic voice, because I didn't want Katniss to hurt Delly, who could be my only friend left in the world.

Someone grabs Delly and pulls her out of the room, but I'm still fuming. "Don't put me under, you crazy people! You know you don't want to sedate me, because I'm giving you valuable information! She. Is. A. Mutt! Do I need to be any more clear with you? Didn't think so."

Before I could continue, my world slowly fades to black.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry, this update took a long time. But it's also really long... Anyway, review please! :)<strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Spilling Tea

**If you like this story, please read my other HG fic, "Suicidal Tribute". It only has 3 visitors so far this month...  
>Thank you again for your awesome reviews!<strong>

**Suzanne Collins is a wonderful writer. I can only hope to compare, but I am not her. I don't own the Hunger Games.**

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><p>Spilling Tea:<p>

"_Peeta? It's me, Katniss. Come out, come out, wherever you are. You know you can't hide forever," my only true enemy taunts me. "Don't you want to come out and see me? I know you love me."_

"_Get away from me, you monster! I could never love you. I never have, and I never will!" All of my strength is summoned to push myself up to rest on my elbows. "I'm not yours, I never was, and I never will be!"_

"_Oh Peeta, that might be the worst thing you've ever said. How terrible of you to say such a thing," Katniss' voice says, soft and airy, but nonetheless menacing. It's as if an angel that was sent to hell and corrupted was speaking to me. "No one is ever rude to me. For that, you must die."_

_Katniss pulls back the string of her midnight black bow, and plunges a flaming arrow into my heart._

Someone was screaming. I opened my eyes to find that it was just me, awakening from my state of delusion. But instead of instantly swarming me, all of my "Recovery Crew" had backed away further away. They're ants; eager to swarm, but just wise enough to know when not to.

The door creaked open. Something was strange, because the door was in a different part of the room than I remembered. I would have known; I'd spent hours and hours memorizing every aspect of this room. I also noted that the once crisp white walls were yellowing. I realized with a start that the room hadn't changed at all; I had. They'd turned my chair to face the opposite way. So now, the door was on my left rather than my right, and the walls in front of me used to be behind. That's why it was all so unfamiliar. But I liked it. It was a nice change in scenery. Even after a nightmare that had shaken me to the bone, I was in a decent mood.

The face that popped through the now-open door was the one I was expecting. "Hey, Doc," I said tiredly, noticing that it strained my throat to speak.

The ants file out the door, and I am once again alone with my best friend.

"Hello. How was your meeting with Delly yesterday?" he said, all too innocently. He looked me in the eyes and scratched his beard. It was getting longer; another minute change I noticed.

"As if you don't know," I respond with a glare. "I know that there are cameras everywhere."

"Well, yes. I'm sorry, that was rude of me to assume that you didn't know." Doctor Aurelius paused, and then looked back down at his clipboard. "It was an interesting development, because I thought you would be fine, but no one believed me."

"You thought that because I am fine."

He sighs. "Fine by their standards, Peeta, not yours."

"Oh. Well then, I don't approve of their standards."

"Alright, you don't have to. By the way, Peeta, do you mind telling me why I have this spill on my uniform?" He pointed down at his shirt. It had a large wet spill all down the front. He looked at me, expecting an answer.

"Uhh, defective cup? I don't know, isn't that a bit of a rhetorical question?" I winked at him.

He laughed and ran a hand over his balding scalp. "Actually, I was sitting outside your room, drinking my tea. Then I heard a piercing scream from inside and spilled it all over myself. Care to explain?" His voice lost all its original lightness, and turned completely serious.

"Oh, you heard that," I said, as I hung my head in shame. I was causing other people trouble now, too. And he was my friend! "I'm really sorry Doc. I was having a nightmare."

"That's what I assumed. Care to tell me about this nightmare?"

"I don't really want to. It won't do you any good, because it wasn't a vision. It was something I had never experienced before," I mumbled, my head still down. I was hoping that he would pick up that I wasn't up for talking today. It was then that I looked up, to see him scribbling furiously on his clipboard. "There were no shiny elements, and I was seeing it from my perspective."

"I'd like to know anyway," he said, without looking up.

"Fine," I said, stronger now, even though my voice shook. My throat was still raw from screaming. "It was Katniss and I. We were alone. I was hurt, I guess, because I felt really weak and was lying on the ground."

"Did she hurt you? Were you speaking?"

"Yes, of course." I held my breath, and let it out slowly. I grabbed the armrests, only to find that they already had large dents in the shape of fingers in them. I wondered when those got there; perhaps while I was asleep. I decided instead to pull bits and pieces of the material off the armrest as a way to focus. "She told me to get up and stop hiding." _Ri-i-ip. _"Then I said I didn't love her, and never would." _Ri-i-ip!_ "Then she said I was rude." _Ri-i-ip!_ "Then she shot me, and I died." _Ri-i-i-i-ip!_

I looked up from the armrests to see that the doctor was staring at me instead of writing on his clipboard. "That's an interesting new way to kill your chair," he said, narrowing his eyes. I dropped my hands.

"Sorry, I forgot our rule."

"I assume you were angry with Katniss in your nightmare?"

"Of course, I'm angry with her all the time, whether I'm awake or not. I just found out she destroyed my district and my family and my friends!" I began shaking, so I kept ripping the armrest. _Ri-i-ip._

Doctor Aurelius put his hand on mine to stop me. It was the first time anyone had attempted to touch me since I strangled Katniss. This must have flashed in my eyes, because his hand was off mine in an instant, and he was backing away. "I'm sorry Peeta, I shouldn't have done that." And with that, he fled from the room.

_Well, isn't this great. Not only is my enemy lurking in the building, but now my best friend is out there too. And who knows what she would do to him? _I thought, running a hand through my messy blonde hair. This was becoming a bit of a habit; playing with my hair when I was worried.

I didn't worry for long, though, because suddenly there were raised voices coming from outside my door. And they were all telling Doctor Aurelius to get back in here.

This time, he entered by opening the door and then being pushed into my presence. He slumped back down into his chair, and mumbled, "Sorry."

"It's okay, really. I wasn't going to hurt you. You're my best friend," I said, with a smile.

The doctor looked back up at me. "You know, Peeta, your eyes light up when you smile. They're very blue. I can see why Katniss is in love with you. Even if you hate her."

"I do hate her! She doesn't love me! Mutts have no emotion! That's how they can kill so mercilessly! They feel no pity, no love. All they feel is what they're programmed to do. Kill." I hissed and turn away from him, signalling that I took back saying he was my best friend.

"Okay Peeta. I can see you don't want to talk. I'll make you a deal: I will tell you one piece of information, and you will let me sleep in here until they let me go." He rolled his chair around me so he could see my face. For the first time, I noticed how tried he looked.

"Fine. But make it fast, not some long and convoluted explanation."

"Sure. Katniss isn't here, Peeta. She's in District Two."

And just like that, he rolled himself into the corner of the room and fell asleep, leaving me wishing that I had made him explain.

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><p><strong>I'm really sorry about how long it took me to post this; I wasn't home all week, and I was without a computer :P<br>**

**Review, please?  
>The button is just below!<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: Electrocuting Goats

**A/N: Thank you to all those who read "Suicidal Tribute", it really means a lot to me :)  
>I just read the Percy Jackson series (in three days... oops) and it's AMAZING. If you haven't read it, I strongly recommend you do! I'll most likely be writing fics about it soon... ;)<strong>

**I don't own the Hunger Games.**

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><p>Electrocuting Goats:<p>

The next little while went by in a blur. It was a nice blur though, because I knew that Katniss was out of my way. One day, I was talking to my "healing" doctor, Doctor Aurelius, when I came to a sudden realization.

"Doctor, why haven't I been eating?" I knew I had been forgetting something this whole time.

He seemed reluctant to answer. The doctor bit down on his lip viciously before replying, "Well, in case you haven't noticed, you still have those tubes attached to your arm. One of those feeds you nutrients."

"Oh, because you can't trust me with a fork? Too afraid that I'll damage something? Hah. Thanks, that makes me feel better."

He gave me a little smile. "It's not my idea. But it does kind of make sense..." His voice trailed off until he was muttering something about flight accuracy.

Our session continued, and as usual, I was given an anaesthetic before he left the room. This was a new procedure, because they didn't want me to see the corridor outside of the room in case I was plotting an escape. This room was becoming more and more like a prison. Unfortunately for me, this was the worst sleep I'd had in a few days.

"_Oh Peeta, why don't you lead? I'm sure it would be perfect if you did," Katniss purred. But how could someone so selfish want me to take the leading position? It had to be a trap._

"_No Katniss. You go first!" I responded, trying to mask my frustration, unsuccessfully._

"_It's true, Peeta. Katniss needs to guard from behind, since her arrows would be the most useful there. I'm holding Mags, so I can't fight at the blink of an eye. That leaves you, buddy," Finnick interjected. I hated it when they were right. The reality of the situation was beginning to set in, and I realized that I had no other choice._

"_Fine," I said, "but don't expect me to be happy about it."_

"_No one did, my dear." Katniss stared evilly at me. Whatever she had planned, I didn't want to be a part of it._

"_And cut it out with the pet names!" With that, I stormed off, taking the lead. Finnick followed with Mags on his shoulder, and Katniss was lagging behind, with an arrow already strung._

_We walked like that for a while, going deeper into the jungle. Katniss kept stopping to give threatening looks behind her. She was supposed to make sure no one was following us, but I didn't have that kind of faith in her. She's a trained murderer._

"_Hey Peeta, why don't we try running for a while?" I hear Katniss shout behind me. I figured that this was a part of her trap, but I didn't question it too much. I was too tired, as were the rest of them. So we ran._

_After ten minutes of running, I was drained. Finnick was lowering Mags off his shoulder, trying to catch his breath. Katniss' movements were slightly slower. "Just a few more steps Peeta. Let's sit beyond that big tree," Katniss prodded._

_I moved forward, with only Finnick following me. It would only take a minute._

_Have you ever been electrocuted? Maybe by touching the cables on your television? That had happened to me one year, watching the Games. I was only five, and the TV wasn't plugged in properly. So I ran to fix it, and got a shock. It really hurt; it made my whole hand shake. I couldn't move. My father had to call my brothers from working in the bakery to help me._

_Now imagine the sensation I got stepping into the force field around the arena. It was a feeling like a thousand suns were coming at me from all angles, making their way into my heart. The energy zapped through my body at incredible speeds. The pain was excruciating. To top it all off, I couldn't move. It was like I was back on the ladder that had brought Katniss and me onto the hovercraft after our first victory. No matter how hard I struggled, there was no way to move._

_All of the life drained out of my body, and I slumped to the jungle floor. The last thing I heard was a mixture of Finnick's screams and Katniss' laughter._

Needless to say, I woke up shuddering.

That day, I had been allowed to feed myself pudding. They had released my hands while no one was in the room, and a cup of pudding rose up from the table next to me. I guess the table rose up too – it wasn't there before – but that didn't bother me. Doctor Aurelius must have put in a good word, and I was eternally grateful.

The next few days were rather uneventful. The doctor came in, as usual. But we'd stopped talking about me, and instead we talked about all of the good things that Katniss has ever done. Usually, our session would end in me screaming and being knocked out while Doctor Aurelius slowly backed out of the room. But other times, the conversation would just drop and he'd roll his chair into a corner to sleep.

After what I assume was about a week, my only friend marched herself back into my cell. "Delly," I said, smiling.

Delly smiled back. "You know, you're much improved when you smile. Your face lights up," she remarked.

"Thanks," I responded, still smiling. I looked down and ran a hand through my hair before looking up at her and continuing. "So what brings you here?"

"I'm here because this time, I get to tell you the exciting news!"

"Well, by all means, do share."

"One of the young and innovative minds here in the hospital had come up with an idea," Delly said. I could almost feel the security cameras' eyes burning through my skull. I felt I was missing a key piece of information, but I let Delly continue. "It's to help you recover, so I promise it's all for the better!"

I trusted Delly the most out of anyone here, so I humoured her. "Am I allowed to know what this plan is?"

"I'm sorry Peeta; I'm not allowed to tell you. But it'll start tomorrow."

Something was wrong. It was strange that they would tell me that there was a plan if they weren't going to explain it. I didn't really have time to wonder though, because Delly left promptly after answering the question.

It didn't bother me when they sedated me, because no one was going to give me information anyway. And for once, my dreams were happy; just memories of Delly and I in my parents' bakery when we were younger.

I was awoken by a team of doctors, who were prepared for whatever hell would break loose when they began the new treatment. My room's atmosphere had completely changed: I was once again facing a new direction, there was a large television stationed in front of me, and a new cord attached to the crook of my elbow. I saw a few doctors that I'd never seen before, as well as my entire "Recovery Team". There was also a young girl with golden hair, who I recognized even from behind, but her name was out of reach. I wasn't able to see her face, but I'm sure that if I could, I would know her. Maybe she was from District 12.

The doctors set to work immediately. I had Doctor Aurelius sitting behind me, and that was comforting in itself. Then the doctors turned the television on, and slid in a tape. My body was paralysed in anticipation.

The scene that played was one of Katniss and me sitting in a cave. I was still insanely mangled, and she told me the story of how she got Prim her goat. In my head, I was seeing her smiling maliciously, chasing me down with a blood drenched knife. It was completely unfair, because I could barely move. The next thing I knew, Katniss was reopening the cut in my leg, and I screamed in pain.

I was now terrified. This process was too familiar. They can't possibly make me more afraid of this memory. I tried to pull away my arms so that they couldn't inject me with more of that painful venom, but it turned out to be unnecessary. A fluid seeped into me through the new tube in the crook of my arm, and I felt instantly calm.

The next sensation I felt was confusion. I still felt calm, but I was at war with Katniss inside. My eyebrows scrunched tightly together and my body tensed. I tried to speak, but I found that I was unable to. I opened my mouth, but all I could manage to do was exhale the breath I'd been holding.

I don't know how long I sat there. Maybe Doctor Aurelius was right when he said I had no concept of time. At some point, all of the doctors left the room except for Doctor Aurelius. The fluid continued to pump into my body.

Suddenly, I felt my face and body relax. Doctor Aurelius wheeled himself to look at my face. He seemed genuinely concerned about the way I had reacted to the video. I turned to him and said, "Does she still have her goat?"

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><p><strong>That little review button is very lonely. Do you mind keeping him company by clicking on it? Thanks :)<strong>


	7. Chapter 7: Once a Baker, Always a Baker

**A/N: Sorry for missing an update. I was at a music festival all weekend, and we're redoing my room, and I had a lack of inspiration. But thanks for sticking with me anyway!  
>For the next little while, updates are going to be rather random because of vacations and such. Sorry in advance!<strong>

**I don't own the Hunger Games, sadly.**

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><p>Once a Baker, Always a Baker:<p>

I can't explain how I took the news. It came as a shock to everyone, I think. No one thought that we would be able to get District 2 on the rebels' side so quickly. So I guess I was surprised. But what really got me was that Katniss got shot in the process. Served her right. I hoped she was seriously injured. For a few days, that was all anyone would talk about in my little room.

I'd decided to stop calling my room a cell. The people here are genuinely nice, mostly. The little girl with blonde hair never came in again, though, and I still can't figure out who it was. It was starting to drive me crazy.

They only showed me videos a couple of times. The doctors were saying that I was getting better, but I didn't feel much different. I guess that I'd decided that Katniss didn't burn down Twelve, but that doesn't mean she wasn't responsible for this war and all of my pain.

Anyway, Doctor Aurelius came to visit me, and I was glad. I hadn't seen him for a while. Alone, anyway. He was always around, but there were other people too.

He rolled his usual black chair around to face me. "Hello. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, Doc. I was beginning to think that you deserted me," I responded, with a wink.

"See? Why can't you be charming all the time? It seems that I'm the only person you're nice to," he said, returning my wink with a scowl.

"Hey, I'm plenty nice. I've stopped giving everyone death stares." I leaned my head up against the back of my lounging chair and stared at the ceiling. "The only people I'm not nice to are the ones who are rotten anyway."

"Peeta..." he began.

"Don't even, Doc. You're never going to convince me that she isn't evil."

"That isn't what I was going to say. I was going to suggest that you give her a chance. Now that she's back, you could talk to her."

"I don't want to. It's as simple as that. She's the reason my family and friends are dead. You don't understand that – they're ALL DEAD!" I jolted my head up and stared into his eyes. They showed empathy, but I didn't want any of it. I leaned my head back down.

"I know I can't ever understand, Peeta, but I do try. And the team of doctors here think that it's in your best interest to have a conversation with her."

"Whatever," I reply, trying to appear nonchalant. But now that he's suggested it, I can't escape the idea. At first, I thought I didn't want to see Katniss, but I realized that they were suggesting something that could be a wonderful opportunity for me. I could let Katniss know how much I didn't like her, and maybe even do it without physically hurting her. I'd think about it later, because the doctor's voice drew me out of my thoughts.

"So there's one more thing we need you on board for, Peeta," he began, using his careful voice. He only uses it when he's worried that I'll freak out about something, so it worries me.

"Okay, shoot," I responded, trying to sound cheerful.

"The audience in the Capitol loves a good wedding. And this one is going to show that even though there's a war, we can still enjoy ourselves because the Capitol doesn't control us."

"What? I am not marrying anyone!" I don't know why I jumped to this conclusion. Something had gone off in my head; a vague memory. Am I married? I didn't think so, but just in case, I'd better not get married.

"Oh, no, Peeta. Not you. Finnick and Annie. We would like to you to decorate the wedding cake," he said with a smile. "It might be good therapy," he added quickly. He was trying to rein me in, but I didn't mind.

"I guess I could. I'm probably the best guy you've got for the job."

"Definitely. Plutarch just got allowance for the cake from the president, and so it's baking right now. You can start tomorrow, and you have a week." On that note, he smiled at me and left the room.

I couldn't believe that I was being given the opportunity to decorate a cake! I mean, eating pudding on my own was a fairly big accomplishment. But this was a whole new level of trust. The doctors must really think that I'm getting better. And I'm honoured.

I start to plan how I'm going to decorate such a huge cake, but my body has other ideas. I fall into a restless sleep with only a short dream.

"_...two Tributes from the same District will be allowed to win the Games! May the odds be _ever_ in your favour!" The loudspeaker crackled and lost its life._

_In the distance, I heard a woman's voice faintly call, "Peeta!" Silence followed._

_She was coming for me. She wouldn't want to kill me now, because it didn't make sense. Why kill me if either way, she would win? But Katniss is greedy. She would have wanted the fame and glory all for herself. I had no doubt about it. But Katniss did pay attention to logic. Maybe she would find it in her heart to spare me._

_I tried to roll over for the millionth time, and failed yet again. If Katniss does come for me, maybe she'll make me better._

_I can't believe that I went from hating her for maliciously dropping a trackerjacker nest on me, to depending on her for my own safety._

_I've lost my pride._

I wanted to thrash and break out of the cuffs that kept me to the chair to get to Katniss, but I could barely move. I hadn't even opened my eyes. I didn't want to feel ashamed that Katniss controlled me. I wanted to rip her head off. It felt like a natural instinct, like I was born to end her life. But I knew that I had to wake up sooner or later, so I forced my eyes open to escape my dreams.

I woke up and looked at my wrists. They were completely bruised from my thrashing and pushing, and they hurt. I tried not to look at them, so I turned my attention straight forward.

I was facing a wall of white. Only this time, it wasn't my cell. It was a cake. A gigantic, four-tiered mass of deliciousness, just like the kind that used to be in the windows at the front of the bakery in District 12. Although those used to be smaller. I wished that I could eat it – and I almost took a handful – until I remembered that my arms were still strapped down, and I was supposed to decorate it, not eat it. Dang.

The door flung open and in strode a familiar face. "Well, I haven't seen you in a while, have I?" he asked, taking Doctor Aurelius' usual seat. He didn't belong there.

"Haymitch, what are you doing here?" I demanded angrily, remembering that he had kept quite a few things away from me.

"Oh, please. As if they weren't going to save the mentors when they blasted the arena sky-high."

"They shouldn't have." I continued to glare at him.

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine. Lover boy, what's eatin' you? Angry, as usual? You seemed pretty upset while you were sleeping," he asked me in his usual teasing voice. I found the words to exclaim my anger. Even though he was kidding, I responded seriously.

"No! I'm perfectly fine! You just never told me anything! Why didn't you save me? Or tell me the plans?" I was yelling. Then I lowered my eyes. "We were a team," I continued, mumbling.

Haymitch had the good sense to lower his gaze as well. He seemed almost ashamed. "We didn't tell you or Katniss anything. After the arena exploded, you two would be the first that they were after." He took a deep breath, and looked back up at me. I had resumed glaring at him. "We tried to save you both, but you were too far apart. The Capitol scooped you up, and we managed to grab Katniss."

I had nothing to say. I was still blazingly angry, but I knew he was telling the truth. I sighed. "So why are you here, Haymitch?" I asked, returning to my first question.

"Well, I already did my first job. Talking to you." He looked up and to the left, trying to remember. "I'm supposed to help you with the decorations of the cake by telling you what the wedding is going to be like. Did you have any ideas?"

"It's District 4, so, sea stuff."

"That's really going to be helpful," he smirked. "You might want to get more specific."

"Well, what's the wedding going to be like?" I asked, trying to conjure up a picture in my head.

"Kids are singing a song, there'll be dancing, the decorations are simple, and there are a couple of District 2 traditions. I'd focus on District 2, though."

"Water? A beach? Flowers? Sea animals? Sorry, that's all I've got."

"Ehh, works for me. I don't really care; it's not my cake."

"Right. So can I get started?" I asked. I was eager to get going, because it meant that I'd have to be let out of my handcuffs. Plus, I hadn't frosted anything a very long time.

"Yeah, I guess so. Let me go grab your security guards," he responded, and left the room.

I knew it was too good to be true. I was going to be under heavy lock and key. Oh well. Seeing Haymitch wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, so this would be fine.

Within minutes, I was given bags and bags of multicoloured frosting. It was sweet butter cream, one of my favourites. I can't deny that I was having the time of my life. I only finished part of a tier that day, but it gave me hope. I felt like I was back to normal; I didn't have a care in the world. All of the concentration that I had been missing for weeks came back to me, and I frosted like there was no tomorrow.

But there was a tomorrow. And I frosted. For an entire week, I frosted that cake to perfection. It was the hardest I'd ever worked on a cake in my life, but it was entirely worth it. Haymitch promised to take a picture of Finnick and Annie's expressions when they saw it, and I couldn't wait.

The last day of frosting, I took a step back to admire my handiwork. The cake was beautiful. The first thing you notice are the blue-green waves that were topped with white. They looked so realistic that I was afraid to get wet. Then there were fish, sailboats, seals and my famous flowers. I had never done anything other than flora before, so it almost looked like someone else had done the rest. But the flowers were my trademark, and I hoped that the people from District 12 would recognise them.

Haymitch comes in shortly after to have a look at what I've accomplished. He whistled. "Just like old times, huh?"

"Yeah," I responded with a smile. "I guess so."

"It looks great. Everyone will love it."

"That's what I've been hoping all along."

"Well, it's going to be a surprise. Not very many people know about it, and everyone will be shocked."

"Good."

There was an awkward pause in our conversation, until Haymitch spoke up again. "Right, then. See you."

"Haymitch, wait," I called. He turned around to face me. I took a breath, knowing that what I was about to say could change everything. I had been doing a lot of thinking about what Doctor Aurelius had said, and I was going to take that leap of faith. "I'd like to see Katniss again."

I wanted to get down to the real reason I was mad at her, because maybe it would help me to talk to her. The videos that they showed me of us together still confused me, and I wanted someone who was there in person to clear them up. Sadly, Katniss was always the only one there.

He looked a bit shocked at first, but his face melted into a smile. "I'll make it happen," he said, and walked out of the room. Two attendants followed him out, wheeling the cake with them to prepare for the wedding, which was the next day.

As I sat alone in my room, I only knew one thing for sure: I was going to talk to Katniss.

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><p><strong>Virtual cookies go to everyone who reviews! (I take anonymous reviews too!) :)<strong>


	8. Chapter 8: Wedding Shenanigans

**Okay, this update took forever. I'm sorry :$  
>And apparently, not very many people like virtual cookies.<strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. The brilliant Suzanne Collins does.**

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><p>Wedding Shenanigans:<em><br>_

_The snapping and growling followed me as I ran up and down several corridors in the Training Centre. Huge wolves were chasing me down. Only these weren't ordinary wolves – they were mutts. They hissed as I turned another corner to find myself in a dead end. I started to panic. That was when I heard the jabberjays from down the hall. _

_They sounded like my family, begging me to come and find them. I resisted the urge, knowing that it would lead me to my death. _

_The wolves came tearing around the corner. Their leader, a female, barked at the rest to back off. Slowly, the pack retreated down the hall toward the sounds of the jabberjays. The alpha wolf was the largest, with chocolate brown fur and piercing grey eyes. The corners of her mouth we slightly turned up, as if she were smirking. She hesitated, then lunged for my throat._

Needless to say, I woke up in a cold sweat that morning. It was the wedding day.

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><p>The whole room was shaking. Not in a bad way, though. All the dancing at the wedding was pounding the floor, and I could feel it. Which was really bizarre, because I was down three floors and at the other end of the hall.<p>

But I was in a good mood, because I knew that in just a few minutes, they would be delivering the cake that I decorated. It made me upset though, because now I was back to being bored most of the time. So I sat and stared at the screen that had been lowered into my room, watching the live feed to the wedding.

All day long, I had been forced to watch videos of Katniss and me together. I was starting to get bored of watching us kiss.

In the morning, I had convinced Haymitch that instead of a picture, I wanted the moment on video. He said that there wouldn't be a problem, because they were taping the whole thing anyway. Beetee had hooked something up and made it happen.

I had to hand it to them; it was a pretty cool wedding. There were leaves for decorations, a children's choir, and a net to cover Finnick and Annie during the ceremony. But all that was over now, and everyone was doing a big group dance.

I began to pay more attention, and something flickered in the back of my mind. I knew the dance.

I'm sure that had it been me up there dancing, I would have been frozen, not knowing what to do. But watching it made me think of when I'd learned it back in District 12.

_My mother had been out buying more sugar and flour from the new shipment that had come by train. So my dad gathered me and my brothers in the family room. He made us all have a partner to begin with, and I was his. My two brothers ended up together. The dance required us to change partners though, so I danced with all of them. We went over the steps, taking it really slowly. I had been terrible at it. I was constantly stepping on everyone's feet. But they didn't seem to mind; we were too busy smiling and laughing. We eventually stopped trying to learn because we were all laughing too hard. That was when my mother decided to come home, and she yelled at us for leaving the bakery unattended._

I shuddered, remembering how I'd watched her slap my father across the face that night.

As I returned my focus to the screen, I noticed that Katniss was sitting around. She wasn't even dancing. So now it was safe to assume that she was an evil mutt _and_ she was boring.

Doctor Aurelius suddenly appeared behind me. "Ready for the cake?" He smiled, and I saw that in his eyes, he was intrigued too.

I snorted. "I was born ready."

He laughed, and it was a wonderful sound. The doctor was actually quite the happy person when he wasn't in doctor-mode. But then again, maybe I just like his laugh because it reminds me that there are good people in this terrible world. "Well that's good then," he continued, "because it's coming out in a few minutes."

I smiled from ear to ear.

That was when a horrible thought occurred to me. I was going to have to talk to the devil herself after the wedding. What on earth was I going to say?

I started by reminding myself that there were always people watching, so there was no way that I could just yell at her. I wanted to scream until she ran away, but it just wouldn't be possible. I was going to have to settle for simply insulting her. And I'd ask a lot of questions – as many as possible. It might even annoy her, which was an added bonus.

Slowly, I let out the breath that I hadn't realized that I'd been holding. It was going to work out just fine.

My attention drifted back to the screen to see that Katniss was now dancing with her little sister. Part of me wanted the little girl to slap her older sister, but I knew that she would never do that. They were both smiling and laughing. It was just like what my family used to do.

_Stop thinking like that, Peeta,_ I thought to myself, _because she is the reason why they won't laugh or smile anymore. They're gone for good._

As I listened to the faint ticking of a clock, my thoughts turned sour. I had learned a lot of new and colourful vocabulary from being tortured next to Johanna in the Capitol, and in my mind, I was using it all to verbally assault Katniss.

Doctor Aurelius tapped me on the shoulder. "It's time."

A new feeling rushed over me, replaced the hatred. Anticipation.

I watched as my cake was wheeled into the ballroom. I couldn't help but smile along with everyone else in the room. The cake looked beautiful. Even from the screen, I could see all of the details that I'd put into it. Everyone in the ballroom stood and gasped as they took in my piece of artwork. All of the excitement in the room made my hard work worthwhile.

It was then that I saw Katniss come forward. My smile waned. At first I thought she was going to smash my cake. But then I noticed that she was just studying it with an intense look in her eyes. I supposed that she knew who had decorated it.

_This is it. She's going to come up now. Remember: anger, but no yelling._ I repeated this in my head enough times to engrain it into my memory.

Then when I watched her disappear from the room with Haymitch, I started to hyperventilate. What if she tries to hurt me? I had told everyone to leave us alone in my room. Of course, they'd have their ears pressed up against the door, and there were always the cameras, but I was still worried. Apparently, my mantra was missing the part about being calm.

I heard footfalls coming down the hall, and I immediately put on my indifferent face. I may have said that I wanted to see her, and I did, but I didn't want it to look like a big deal. She should have to look at me and feel remorse, but I didn't want to seem as if I cared.

Doctor Aurelius secured three restraints to my wrists, and a tube of anaesthetic to the crook of my arm. "Sorry," he said, shrugging, "but we want to make Katniss feel as safe as possible."

I rolled my eyes. As if she cares about safety.

Doctor Aurelius silently let himself out. Oh well, I guess that I'd wanted to be alone. Still, it might have been nice to have a friend by my side.

The door to my room slowly creeped open. I'd been practicing my cool and aloof expression, so I think that I'd nailed it when Katniss tiptoed in. I shift my gaze to face her, and I couldn't help but break my façade. There was a mutt in my room, and we were alone. It was my worst nightmare being relived in front of my eyes.

Katniss approached me slowly, eyeing me warily. She crossed her arms over her chest, seemingly afraid of me attacking her. "Hey." I was glad that she'd spoken first.

"Hey," I responded, coldly.

"Haymitch said you wanted to talk to me." She was trying to look me in the eye, but I could tell that she was too busy calculating in her head.

_Here goes nothing._ "Look at you, for starters." I glare at her, hoping that that one sentence would be enough to break her. She reminded me so much of the wolf in my nightmare. I didn't get much of a reaction, she just glanced at the wall. Suddenly, it was clear to me: one-way glass. That's how they'd been observing me, not hidden cameras. I guessed that Katniss knew about it. I blinked, trying to get back on topic. "You're not very big, are you? Or particularly pretty?"

I watched as her eyes widened, but she quickly regained her composure. "Well, you've looked better."

The remark made me laugh. Maybe it was the nervous tension, but somehow, everything seemed funny. "And not even remotely nice. To say that to me after all I've been through."

"Yeah. We've all been through a lot. And you're the one who was known for being nice. Not me."

What she said affected me. I can't quite explain why, but for a split second, I regretted my harsh words. I wanted to put my arms around her, and comfort her. She looked like she'd been having a rough time, and I wanted her to feel safe and secure. It wasn't right what we'd done to each other, and I wanted to make everything okay.

I remembered the moment we'd met before the Games. I burnt some bread on purpose, and my mother slapped me. I went to feed it to the pigs, but gave the two loaves to Katniss instead. The next day at school, I'd thought that she would talk to me. But when I saw her catch my eye in the schoolyard, she looked away and picked a dandelion. The feeling of protection that I'd had then came back to me, and filled me with warmth.

It was then that I remembered where we were, and why we were there. The feeling disappeared as quickly as it had come.

She took a step back. "Look, I don't feel so well. Maybe I'll drop by tomorrow." She turned and walked to the door. There was no way I could let her go that easily! She hadn't answered any of my questions yet!

"Katniss. I remember about the bread." The sound of my voice brought her to a halt.

Without turning around, she responded, "They showed you the tape of me talking about it."

I scrunched my eyebrows together. They hadn't shown the any videos of her just talking, only ones from the Games. "No. Is there a tape of you talking about it? Why didn't the Capitol use it against me?"

"I made it the day you were rescued." She was breathing heavily, as if it was difficult. "So what do you remember?"

I decided to tell her the whole thing. "You. In the rain," I said, as if I were speaking to wounded animal. "Digging in our trash bins. Burning the bread. My mother hitting me. Taking the bread out to the pig but then giving it to you instead." The memory played itself once again in my mind.

"That's it. That's what happened. The next day, after school, I wanted to thank you. But I didn't know how."

I looked down. "We were outside at the end of the day," I said. "I tried to catch your eye. You looked away. And then… For some reason, I think you picked a dandelion."

She nodded solemnly.

"I must have loved you a lot," I continued.

She chocked out, "You did."

Here was the question I had been waiting to ask. "And did you love me?"

She stared down at the floor. "Everyone says I did. Everyone says that's why Snow had you tortured. To break me."

Oh, she was clever. She had manipulated her way around the question. "That's not an answer," I persisted. "I don't know what to think when they show me some of those tapes. In that first arena, it looked like you tried to kill me with those tracker jackers."

She interrupted me. "I was trying to kill all of you."

_So she admits it,_ I thought. "Later, there's a lot of kissing. Didn't seem very genuine on your part. Did you like kissing me?"

She blushed a little. "Sometimes. You know, there are people watching us now," she said, changing the subject. Too bad I didn't want to change it.

"I know. What about Gale?"

"He's not a bad kisser either," she responded angrily. Man, that girl was moody.

I decided to roll with the topic, because it was clearly getting under her skin. "And it was okay with both of us? You kissing the other?"

I could tell that she wanted to roll her eyes. "No. It wasn't okay with either of you. But I wasn't asking your permission."

The comment made me laugh again, only this time, it was halfheartedly. I could finish her off now. I was through with talking to her. It was like talking to a brick wall. "Well, you're a piece of work, aren't you?" I smirked, and my smile grew even larger as she stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. I listened to her footfalls until I couldn't hear them anymore.

I turned to the wall that Katniss had accidentally showed me. "Did you guys get all that?" I laughed at my own wittiness. I would have bet anything that Haymitch was back there, chuckling with me.

It was upsetting, because I knew that saying something like that would get me punished. As I felt the anaesthetic drip into my arm, I figured that sleeping might actually help me sort out my scrambled thoughts. I gave into the darkness that was enveloping me.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Tips? Comments? Questions? Drop me a review. It'll make my day! <strong>


	9. Chapter 9: Escape is Near

**A/N: I am so sorry; you would not believe how easy it is to get sucked into Tumblr instead of finishing my chapters here. **

**Speaking of Tumblr, if you have one, follow me! optimisticfool(dot)tumblr(dot)com ! xox**

**Apparently, the "update once a week" thing was never going to work out. I am now resolved to update whenever possible. I'm really sorry in advance if that means that you have to wait another four months. But believe me; I hope it doesn't come to that. So here's to hoping that updates will be a little more regular!**

**Disclaimer: Hunger Games, I own not. Speak like this, Yoda does. (:**

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><p>I wish that I could say that I have everything figured out. I don't.<p>

Instead of thinking about it, I've been envisioning how I would paint this white wall in front of me. It would need bright yellow. I was thinking a field full of flowers – dandelions, of course, though I wasn't sure why my mind decided that, other than the fact that they're yellow – but I couldn't decide whether to make the sky blue or grey, and how the balance of yellow and orange would work in the sun, if I showed it.

While I was thinking about this, I had come to accept the fact that Katniss doesn't want to kill me, at least not most of the time. So I would permit her to return. But when I told Doctor Aurelius, he was a little sceptical.

"Really, Peeta? Do you honestly want to see her again?" Doctor Aurelius has adopted this strange habit of tilting his head slightly to the right when he's thinking.

"Of course," I responded. "I need to know as much as possible, and frankly, you aren't telling me very much at all."

"I can't authorize you to see her, Peeta. You know that." He bowed his head down to look back at his notes.

"So get Haymitch in here." I kicked the doctor to get his attention.

"He can't either. I'm really sorry, Peeta. There's nothing we can do."

"Well, I guess she's just more important than me. Even though she's a weakling, and I can solve your problems with a few tests." I grunted, knowing how much it annoyed him when I did.

Mission Accomplished; he sighed. "Fine, I'll make you a deal. Not Katniss," he said, but as I began to protest, he held up a finger to silence me, "but we can bring Delly back in here."

I had to consider this for a moment. Delly could be a fairly good source of information. After all, she lived in Twelve, and she knew Katniss, though not well. She could have at least some of the answers to the questions in my head.

I decided to pretend that I didn't consider the offer good enough. Sighing, I said, "Fine, I guess I can deal with her. But you owe me."

Doctor Aurelius saw right through my charade. He gave a half smile before continuing to interrogate me, preparing me for the next dose of morphling to accompany another video of Katniss and me.

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><p>I was right about Delly. She's literally a fountain of knowledge. I've seen her three times already, and I'm already up to date with the latest District 13 events. I learned that all of the children are jealous of Prim's cat, that there's an old lady selling off leaves from the wedding, and that the general consensus is that the rebels will be going into the Capitol in three weeks' time.<p>

The most shocking of the news, though, would be that Katniss isn't allowed to go fight in the Capitol. Delly heard that she threw a hissy fit. I would have paid to see that.

But anyway, now she's training with Johanna and a bunch of young soldiers, and she got surgery on her ribs to help heal her up. To be honest, I'm jealous of how well Johanna seems to be doing. Delly is terrified of her, which means that the Capitol tortures must not have affected her as badly as they did me.

"Peeta, can you hear me?" Delly waved her hands in front of my face. "I was talking to you, and you completely zoned out."

"Sorry."

She smiled. "Boys. You're all the same. Do you have any idea what I just asked you?"

I grinned. "Not really."

"I asked you if you remember how much you love Katniss."

Ouch, sore subject. I winced. "Honestly, no. I don't know what I saw in her. She's kinda evil," I mumbled.

"Peeta! She's so sweet! I can't believe you don't remember her properly. She is one of the nicest people here. But she spaces out sometimes, just like you. I think she misses home." Delly become distracted, and wasn't paying me any attention. She had an earpiece in her ear that she started whispering into. I only caught bits of her conversation. "I know that you told me to avoid it… I feel like he's hiding his feelings… Please stop, I want to talk…"

I decided it was my turn to zone out.

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><p>Here's an interesting fact about your mind being basically flipped backwards and wiped: I am capable of thinking of absolutely nothing. As I sat there, it was like watching a TV with the screen turned on, but all you're picking up is the fuzzy grey and black lines. At least, until Haymitch came and dragged Delly out of the room.<p>

He then proceeded to sit in Doctor Aurelius' chair. "Hey, crazy. The doc is sick, so I'm filling in."

I rolled my eyes. "Great."

His lips twitched, almost in a smile. "Still don't like me, huh? Oh well. Your loss." He began hooking all the tubes to my arms that would deliver the anaesthetic. It hurt a lot more than usual, because his semi-drunk fingers would occasionally stab me with the wrong tube.

"So, lover boy. Hear the news?"

I tried to remain silent, but curiosity got the best of me. "What news?" I sighed.

Haymitch looked up from the tubes on my arm. "Johanna and Katniss are sharing a room. They're both doing really well in training, and Soldier York is considering putting them up a level."

I couldn't help but look at him, completely and utterly confused. "I honestly did not understand any of that. Who's Soldier York? There are levels? Where are the rooms? How is Johanna doing, still scared of water?"

Haymitch laughed at my sudden interest. "Soldier York is a trainer of sorts. There are levels of training, and only the highest get to go on the mission to the Capitol. And the rooms are basically everywhere, except this God forsaken hospital."

Maybe I'd been having the wrong person come in to talk to me. Haymitch knew way more about what was going on than Delly did. The story with the old leaf lady was cute, but I want war details.

That was when I noticed that Haymitch had his hand on his ear bud, listening intently. He whipped his head up to meet my eyes with his. He calmly took his hand off the side of his head, stood up and said, "Good talk, Peeta." And he walked out.

Well, that was certainly interesting. I wished I could have had more time to reflect, but it was time to watch another movie.

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><p>Today has not been a good day.<p>

This morning, I had people stab me with various needle for over an hour. Then, they showed me a video of Haymitch talking about how much he hated Katniss and me, but he was pissed drunk. I don't like listening to how much people hate me, because it makes me want to rip their heads off. Fortunately, I settled for my armrests. So now, I don't have any armrests, and it's rather uncomfortable.

"Good news, Peeta! You have a visitor!" One of the district's attendants was yelling in my face. Not helping my mood.

I shooed her out of the room. She held the door open enough for Delly to walk in. That didn't surprise me.

"Hi, Peeta!" she said. Always the cheerful one. Kind of refreshing, but also rather annoying.

"Hey Delly." I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, folding my arms across my chest.

"How are you feeling?" She didn't even make an effort to get me to look at her.

"Why do you always ask me that, Delly? Shouldn't I be asking you questions?"

I must have confused her with that one, as she took a minute to respond. Strange. I'm beginning to understand conversational ploys. "Well, I guess so. I was just told to talk to you."

That was when I sat back up. "Okay then. First things first. Are you actually in front of me? I've had a lot of needles this morning."

She laughed. "Yes."

"Good. Because you are my closest friend, and I was hoping you were real."

We smiled at each other, and that's when I knew that I had at least two people in this building who would vouch for me to get out of here.

With Delly and Doctor Aurelius on my side, I had enough votes to be allowed to leave my stupid room. I have to have security guards and hand shackles, but I'm glad to get up and walk around. I can finally investigate the facility. They're even letting me go eat lunch with Delly today. If I see Katniss, I plan on ignoring her. Is that too harsh? Maybe we'll talk.


	10. Chapter 10: An Awkward Conversation

**I just realized that my last update was terrible. I'm sorry any of you had to read that.**

**And I'm also sorry that this took longer than four months, even when I'd hoped it wouldn't, and I might have gotten your hopes up (I don't know why, though, because there are tons of other things to read that are much better than what I come up with) and I'm sorry that this update isn't that great either and I'm so sorry and I hope you forgive me especially for this exceptionally long run-on sentence.**

**And I'm sorry that I don't own the Hunger Games.**

**Oh and by the way, that's not my tumblr url anymore. So don't try to add it, hahaha.**

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><p>I stood on the outside, waiting for someone to notice me. I didn't think they would; after all, they were all happily sitting, eating some sort of stew. Annie was holding Finnick's hand, and neither looked ready to let go. Johanna was sitting alone on the other side of the table, across from... Katniss. Who was next to Delly and Gale. I figured I might as well get the awkward hello out of the way, so I made my way over to their table, flanked by two guards.<p>

The shackles make it hard for me to hold my tray, because the cuffs on my wrists don't lay flat when my hands are on an angle. So I just stood there behind Johanna, crunching my toes in my shoes, balancing my tray on my fingertips and waiting for someone to acknowledge me.

Katniss was the first to look up. Her laugh stopped abruptly. _I didn't know she could laugh._ Her eyes widened and she made a chocking sound, but I pretended not to notice. _No emotion, Peeta. If you're rude, they'll never let you out again._ Frankly, just standing here was the most exciting thing that had happened in ages.

Delly looked up next. "Peeta! It's so nice to see you out... and about."

I half smiled at her.

"What's with the shackles?" asked Johanna, raising an eyebrow.

I sighed internally. "I'm not quite trustworthy yet. I can't even sit here without your permission." I quickly shifted most of the weight of the tray onto my right hand and gestured at the guards with my head, leaning to the left.

"Sure he can sit here. We're old friends," said Johanna. I was in. "Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams." Sadly, it was true.

I looked over at Annie, who, at that, had covered her ears. I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, but didn't let it show. Finnick tried to comfort her, shooting Johanna an angry look. I laughed internally at the odd facial expression. Keeping emotions bottled up was pretty much today's exercise. So I started on my stew.

"What? My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy," Johanna replied, pursing her lips.

After that, no one talked for a long time. I kept eating my stew.

Leave it to Delly to try to mask the awkward. "Annie, did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home, his family ran the bakery and he did all the icing." She smiled at a still terrified Annie.

Annie slowly turned her head towards me. "Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful."

It was a small victory, but I was willing to take it. "My pleasure, Annie," I said softly. She seemed like such a nice person; I wanted to talk to her more.

I noticed Katniss' eyes flicker to me as I said that. Maybe she thought I was incapable of emotion? She had it backwards.

Finnick took that as an invitation to leave, which, frankly, annoyed me. He would surely be taking Annie with him. "If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go. Good seeing you, Peeta." He grabbed both his and Annie's trays and stacked them so he can carry them in one hand while holding Annie around the waist with the other. Honestly, I didn't trust him not to hurt her. She was so lovely, and looked almost delicate.

"You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you," I said, keeping the emotion out of the words. Katniss' eyes widened, obviously thinking about what I'd meant by that. Honestly, I couldn't care less. But I wanted Annie to be safe.

"Oh, Peeta. Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart." Finnick guided Annie out of the room.

After a bit of an uncomfortable silence, Delly piped up again, but this time, speaking more cautiously. "He did save your life, Peeta. More than once."

I snorted. "For her," – I nodded at Katniss – "For the rebellion. Not for me. I don't owe him anything." I scooped another spoonful of stew into my mouth. _Take it easy, Peeta. No being rude._

Katniss looks angry. "Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you're still here. That should count for something."

I want to punch her. What a hypocrite. She's still here too, and she doesn't seem all that grateful. After all, she's willing to take other people's lives! Namely, mine. I respond, trying to keep my voice nonchalant. "Yeah, a lot of things should count for something that don't seem to, Katniss."

I pause for a second, then continue. "I've got some memories I can't make sense of, and I don't think the Capitol touched them. A lot of nights on the train, for instance." Let her figure that one out. I meant that one time that we had had hot chocolate in my room, and we talked about how much we wanted the other to win, which I knew were all lies. She took advantage of me then, and she still does now. She'd always planned on knocking me out at the end.

But Katniss would probably take that moment to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Time to change the subject.

I pointed at Katniss with my spoon, then shifted my gaze to Gale. "So, are you two officially a couple now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?" They were sitting awfully close to each other. It was a valid question. But I knew what the answer would be.

"Still dragging," said Johanna. Yep, that was the answer I was expecting.

Bottling up emotions is hard. I can't help my fists' twitching, because I want to strangle Katniss. I can't believe they ever made us go along with that stupid star-crossed lovers thing. Maybe it was Haymitch that I wanted to strangle. Either way, I was mad.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself." Gales voice takes me away from my thoughts.

"What's that?" I ask.

"You." Oh now he's done it. My fists tremble even more.

"You'll have to be more specific. What about me?" I ask, as if I don't already know.

"That they've replaced you with the evil mutt-version of yourself," says Johanna. She didn't really believe that, did she? She lived with Katniss! She experiences mutt firsthand every day! I almost growl, but I remember just before I do that it'll only add to what Gale's just implied.

He turned to Katniss. "You done?" They both stand up and leave together.

Johanna sighs. "Well, Peeta, you've gotten rid of her."

"It's not my fault she hates people." I turn to face my half-empty bowl.

Johanna just smiles. I like Johanna.

But Delly starts getting angry. "Peeta! That was unkind! I can't believe you were so rude to Katniss! You love her!"

I laughed. "Not anymore, Delly. I don't know why I ever did. If I ever did."

"You did, Peeta! You loved her! And you treated her like a piece of garbage!" Delly was squeaking. I poked her from across the table, and she squeaked again. Johanna was laughing her head off, and everyone in the room seemed to be looking in our general direction.

Was it me they were looking at?

I wanted make them look away.

Also, Delly was still squeaking at me and I was sick of it.

"Peeta, why is Delly talking like that?" I say, turning my head to the left. Switching to the right, I continue. "I don't know Peeta, she's scary. Maybe you should have been nicer, though."

Left. "Peeta, where's the bread? And no, I was good to be rude." Right. "I don't know. But I want more too. And no, you should make more of an effort." Left. "Bread's good, isn't it? Well, Katniss had it coming." Right. "Yeah. And Johanna seems to think the bread is good too, because she just stole Delly's. I'm with Delly, you need to be nicer."

I kept talking to myself, turning left and right, trying not to laugh. Johanna and Delly shared a concerned look, and Delly up and left the cafeteria. Everyone else in the room had looked away, embarrassed. Clearly, they were all buying it. Mission accomplished.

Except I forgot that my guards would take me away if I looked crazy – a minor flaw in my plan.

The guard standing to my left nudged me and whispered in my ear. "You aren't allowed to be alone with anyone."

I turned around. "You're here," I responded. Then I yelled. "We're ALL here!"

Johanna laughed. "Just go, lover boy. See you later."

I smiled, but I kind of wanted to hit her for pulling out that nickname. My guards pulled me to my feet, and essentially pushed me out of the room. Freedom was nice while it lasted.

I pretended I didn't see Johanna take the remainder of my stew.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for putting up with me! Review? If you do, maybe I'll update faster. I've gotten a lot of reviews out of nowhere lately, and I love you for that, because it reminded me that I have people who like my story. And there are a few people who review almost every chapter, and I adore you for that. So thank you, I love you. (:<br>**


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